Make Cancer Your Ally

I have had the most amazing day so far and it's only 11am. I awoke after a good night's sleep to find out my fever, which I have had since Victoria Day had broken. The doctors kept trying to find what kind of bacteria was causing it and they tried one anti-biotic combo after another to no avail. Then today it just cleared up. That leads me to my next piece of news which makes me soul glow with glee.

The doctor just told me that my white count is starting to come back and it is coming back perfectly which puts any chance of relapse while inpatient at 2-5%! FUCK YES. See, when I first came here I met with a young guy, twenty years old, his mom wanted me to share my experience. And upon entering his room I saw the same sad sight I usually see. No hope, no life, no optimism, no anger, no nothing. His face was empty and drawn. I would walk by his room and he would be on his bed with the tv right in his face.

This is the case with probably 80% of patients? I mean for someone in their 80s, OK, but when you are young, when your body is at its most resilient, when it can take the most, when you probably dont have any other health complications, you have a fighting chance! Heck, the best fighting chance.

Anyway, in his state, he went through a round of chemotherapy, one month of the nasty treatment and guess what, he relapsed. It makes me so sad. He has to go through it again and who know what the result will be unless he changes his attitude towards this. And me hearing that this young guy relapsed right away put a thought of lingering fear in the back of my mind. So to get that news today was AHHHHHHHH yea.

That being said I am going to find his mom and have a long chat with her. That kid needs a lake to yell at, bad.

You see, it has become clear to me, that if you treat cancer not as this monster that is trying to end you, but rather as a powerful force that brings before you a question: "Are you ready to become who you are meant to be?" Unfortunately cancer has to be accompanied by very difficult treatments, but that could change in the near future, and it is the danger, the fear it brings that are essential to the very growth one needs to experience.

I have an allegorical vision of my leukemia as a woman in a snake-skin dress with a big smile and incredible wisdom behind green eyes. Will you make battle with her or will you join her in the dance and shed your built-up layers of snake skin to reveal the true you.

LETS DANCE