50th post: Miracles Do Happen

It's hard to sit down and write this when all I wanna do is celebrate. Luckily for you guys I have low energy today. About four hours ago I witnessed a miracle, a real, actual, physically present and printed miracle. On my blood count printout was a completely healthy lkc (white blood cell) count. Back on tuesday it was 22, which is decent, chemo got that down from 44. They offered me more chemo, because that dose was now out of my system, but I said no and decided to wait till friday to see how it was.

I was expecting it to be high. Past experience has shown cancer growth to be exponential; 22 goes to 44 then to 88 then to boom boom pow my veins are exploding, if you let it keep going. I still felt ok at 220 count, digesting got harder, but other than that just big veins. White count today was 3.7 - a good and healthy number. Now, whether or not that is still cancer or healthy white cells I don't know but what do I do know is that that number was achieved without chemo of any type. There was no left over chemo in my system from back when I had some, they actually gave me a "rescue" to help rid my system of it after it had done it's job. In addition my hemoglobin went up and platelets held their ground for once in a long time. Something knocked the cancer out of my body and that something was extremely powerful energy healing.

Herein lies my experience of the healing I experienced July 22, 2010:

Some of you may have heard of Joao de Deus down in Brazil by now, theres fundraising being done to send me to see him. I don't wanna go into details about him you can check out his site / google him. He is the world's most powerful healer since Jesus they say and I got an hour of his time! Since I couldn't fly right now, our contact to his people, organised for me a long-distance session with his guides. Joao, or John, channels thirty or so spirit doctors or guides who heal the very ill.

6:45 am: chow down some yogurt for breakfast and dress all in white (helps the guides see your energy fields). Not allowed any electronic devices for 24 hrs.

7:00 am: lie down on my back and cross my arms over my chest - right hand over my heart because it's leukemia, left over right. Immediately I got hit with a chest pain, a muscle spasmed on my right side and I had sharp pain if I breathed in too much, still I focused on the healing session. It was my job now to allow the guides access to my being. So I saw them fly in, come next to me and stand around my body. I could sense my mom was present but behind my field of vision and Joao even made an appearance in his human body at the foot of my "bed".

next 45 mins or so: I see the guides get to work, each one working on various parts of my body. I decide to incorporate the pain in my chest as part of the healing and relate it to possibly the old and now dead subconscious belief I used to have that I didn't deserve to breathe, to live. I feel that old painful thought and let it go. It also brought me a little fear, I was kind of freaking out at one point where it really started to hurt to keep holding my arms over my chest, but similarly I got that to move and calmed myself again.

I had two main visions from this point on. The first was so amazing I tingle just thinking about it. I had an archangel make an appearance. My dad who was also meditating back at home to help my healing at the time also envisioned this angel joining the healing. He saw Michael. I saw the most beautiful woman with the biggest smile and she soared in as the guides made way for her. I didn't see any wings just her flowing robe of light, but I wasnt really looking :). She hovered over me and with one hand beamed down blocks of intense light mostly into my hip area (the main source of bone marrow) but elsewhere in my body too. The blocks would glow as such for a while then fade into nothingness in their places.

The next vision I had was me as a kid, maybe, all in red - shorts and shirt - and I go up to a park bench and lie down. Just then a mass of little colored pebble-like things pile ontop of the boy and the bench. They look like colored mentos. They eventually get to the point where it's just the boy's head showing and then that gets consumed too by the moving wave or mass of what really looks like candy haha. The boy can't breathe now but just then all the pebbles are wiped out of existance. To me this is just plain metaphor for the overwhelming presence of cancer cells in the blood, to the point of near death, and then just simply being vaporized from the world just in an instant.

After the hour session, the recipient has to spend 24 hours in meditation and inwards thought. Food can be brought and a little conversation is OK but no electronics, no distractions, no outside noise (as much as possible). I always wondered what a day like that would be like, so I didn't mind. It was like relaxing in bed, as I often do, but more...lots more. I slept a lot too. They left me with the lovely chest pain so I focused on that for healing but also did lots of visualization and entertained crazy ideas about cancer being completely gone.

My thanks to the Beckett family again and Brendan especially for use of his room. They all kept nicely quiet as I went to work with my crazy ways. I did feel like the cancer was gone from my body after the morning and it was scary but I dared to believe it true. I totally expected to be let down when I got to the hospital, that life would just be yet another upset for me, another plummet on that rollercoaster, more chemo, etc etc. Yet when I got called up, and my little asian nurse had a big smile on her face and said my counts were good, and I looked at LKC and saw THREE POINT SEVEN, I was extatic. I walked out of there on a cloud. The nurse thought I had had chemo, I was like "nope- cya".

I emailed Dr. Minden simply saying "3.7 lkc sans chemo, not too shabby" but I couldn't get a rise out of him. He said "no chemo today" lol.

Now, that 3.7 might still be cancer cells and I could fall back into that battle again but for now I will keep positive and just enjoy the moment, as always. I couldn't help but cry because I have been through so much SHIT with this god damn disease and I just kept trusting and believing in my spirituality, even so close to death I was ready, but I never gave up that belief that I could somehow pull through this. This gives me hope, proof, and reward for all that work. I thought I was in bliss before, nuhuh, now I am. Excuse me while I scream for joy.

-Sir Nic