LOL nurses

Unfortunately I have had the pleasure of meeting most nurses that work in the inpatient units at PMH. They are all great at what they do but I got beef with some of them. Heres a little list of beef with some of the nurses at PMH.

C: First thing that hits you about C, at least towards me, is her shit attitude. It's not real but it is a cover that has taken over her life. First thing in the morning she opens the door and gives you a really lethargic look. Then she shifts into being your mom and asks you a bunch of questions like "why are you pants here?" "what bag is this?" "why are you reading a book" all in a kind of an old, whiny kelly-from-the-office voice. Is that really how you should greet cancer patients? with disapointment and verbal bombardment? I have broken through and seen the nicer C a few times (she asked a dumb question about my mom) but man, she got bitter down pat.

C: Big woman. I don't know how she pulls off those twelve hour shifts of constant running about. But I will always remember this time she was trying to examine my mouth and she was breathing the WORST smellling breath right down my throat. It wouldn't end and I was really starting to get scared of infection. I didn't want to be rude though because she is one of the sweetest people...I should have tho. The thing though about her sweetness is it never shuts up. Even at 6 in the morning when she takes your blood work SHE WILL START MAKING CONVERSATION WITH YOU. It has given her a reputation and I do think the nurses dont schedule her with young folk anymore.

T: She is another one with an attitude problem, it's probaby put on for me, I really don't know why. She is a good nurse but she has bad habits or forgetfulness, I don't know. She will ALWAYS leave my damn door open when she leaves the room. This is a huge problem cuz it rushes in all the cold hallway air and I lose my privacy, which is important when you're peeing in a bottle. I sometimes wonder about her abilities outside of nursing. It is like nursing has taken over her brain and left little room for anything else. Some of the questions she asks...I wont get into it. She wanted me to shave my own head. I said I would do the front if she could help with the back. She said she doesn't know how. I said had she ever peeled a potatoe or painted an egg? That got her and then I find out when she gets to it shes seems professional, even busted out some scissors for the thicker parts! Whatever.

E: The last one I want to leave you with is this nurse, usually does a fine job, kind of old and worn out, maybe cranky sometimes, but always proud of her nursing ability. One day she was doing my 6am bloodwork. That involves a series of undoing clamps rerouting flow and filling testtubes etc. She set the tubes up but no blood was coming out. Remember this is 6am here I am an unhappy zombie at 6am. So she right away thinks its something wrong with me and starts telling me to move my arms up, cough 3 times, sit up, bend over, all of this being so LAME at this hour. Still, nothing came. She was a little stumped. So in a daze I slapped my hand down on the first clamp on my line and low-and-behold it was still locked. I undid it and the blood started flowing and then she says "There, got it" I just smiled inside. Didnt fall back asleep though :(